To so many, getting married to a woman who makes more money than
you is a crazy thing to do. If you're in a relationship with a woman who has
the power, financially, you might feel emasculated. Here's how to navigate this
situation without breaking the bank, or breaking up.
Having a sugar mama sounds sweet, doesn't it? No financial
responsibilities, no work , no problem…. but these situations come with costs.
What's more likely is that you've found an awesome, hard-working woman who
happens to earn more cash than you, and it makes you a bit uncomfortable.
"The cardinal rule with money and dating is that money should
never cause awkwardness,
So if it does, you need to
combat it head-on.
Here are 6 great Secrets or ways to Dating an Older Woman;
You can probably suck it up and dole out the cash for one great
night, but this could go on for months. And if anything is more emasculating
than dating a woman who makes more money than you, it's dumping her because she
makes more money than you. So, what's a dude to do when dinero is an everyday
ordeal? Follow these six tips.
1. Be honest about your insecurities
Don't let financial differences become
the elephant in the relationship. If it bothers you that she always wants to go
to fancy restaurants and expects you to pay, say something. "It may not be
the politically correct thing to say, but it's so much better to just be real
and acknowledge any weirdness up front," says Esther Boykin, a licensed marriage
and family therapist.
1. Don't try to keep up
"The financial issues come up right
away; men have to assume that they're paying for the first couple of
dates," Savoy says. "If you've planned an evening you can't afford
just to impress her, consider making different plans." Don't let pride or
embarrassment turn into excess spending and anger. Just because she wears
thousand dollar shoes doesn't mean you have to. If she really wants you to
dress a certain way, she will buy the items for you as gifts, but if she cares
that much about your clothes, consider whether or not her priorities are in
order. "Trying to keep up with her lifestyle can lead to resentment in
the end,"
2. Split the bill
While this is not OK during the first
few dates, once you are in an established relationship, it is safe to consider.
When moving in together, "fairness is key to successful cohabitation. Each
person should pay an equal percentage of their income," says Judith A.
Swack, Ph.D., healthy-relationship specialist at the Boston Center for Adult
Education. And if she wants to do an activity that is out of your price range,
Swack says to discuss the problem. "If she still has her heart set on it,
swap out a future activity that you had in mind. Or if she offers, let her
treat you or pay for her own share."
3. Resist retail
Thoughtfulness goes a long way, it also
helps you save money. "A tight budget makes room for creativity when it
comes time to give gifts or plan outings, and women care much more about the
thought than the cost," "If she loves weekend trips to tropical
paradises, turn your apartment into a beach shack and whip up some fruity
umbrella drinks."
4. Stay manly
Just because she's banking, doesn't mean
you should be a baby—or a burden. "Take the lead and play a traditional
male role in the relationship in other ways, like planning dates and opening
doors," says Jennifer Kelman, author of Becoming a Female Entrepreneur:
Simple Strategies to Make It Happen and a relationship expert for pearl.com.
This includes being a decision maker, says Brooke Carsner, a professional
matchmaker at Intuitive Matchmaking. Take the reigns, and don't sulk. "A
successful woman wants someone who can help her celebrate her success, not
someone whom she has to defend it to." If she seems to like the idea of
stripping you of your manhood, well, you have to decide whether or not you are
into that sort of thing.
5. Don't settle for less
Just because your bank account isn't the
same size as hers does not mean she can treat you like the help. Standards and
care do not equate to dollars and cents. "Money can buy a lot of things,
but it is never a substitute for respect,". "If the person you are
with translates financial power to relationship power-- always calling the
shots and making unilateral decisions just because she's paying—then it might
be time to say goodbye."
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